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Thursday, 20 December 2012 19:51

What To Do If The World Ends Whilst You're Hiring A Car

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With the Mayan apocalypse approaching we thought it may be appropriate to provide some tips on what to do should the world end before you hand the keys back to your rental company.

Simply follow out tips to make sure your rental doesn't end up costing you the earth.

  1. Try to take steps to ensure the safety of the vehicle as the end of the world approaches. If you can't find a safe place to park, console yourself with the thought that finding space will shortly be far easier than it's ever been. It'll be finding substance that will be more difficult immediately after the apocalypse.
  2. Remember to take photographs of your car when you pick it up, that way if the world ends you will have documentary evidence of any damage that already existed on your rental car. The end of the world may not technically be your fault, but you may still be liable for the excess for any damage incurred whilst the car was in your possession.
  3. Depending on where you are in the world, you will experience the end of the world at different times based on your proximity to the international dateline. If you continue travelling west, you may be able to avoid it all together. Just remember that you could end up being charged more for a one-way rental, particularly if you have managed to reverse time by crossing the international date line several times. There may also be fees assoicated with returning a car before you have technically collected it. 
  4. Do not rely on GPS systems to navigate, try to plot your position using the nearest fixed point in space, which after the end of the world will be the Sun. If the Sun happens to get tied up in all this, pick Proxima Centauri and cross your fingers.
  5. The AA are recommending that motorists take extra time to plan journeys.
  6. It may be a good idea to pack a flask, a blanket, a pen and a piece of string. These items are useful in all circumstances, as are a packet of mints and a spare pair of pants.
  7. Do not put more fuel in the tank than you are likely to use in your next journey. The last thing you want is for the world to end just after you've spent £90 on a tank of fuel. 
  8. Keep fluids topped up in the car and remember they'll need plenty of room to expand once the earth's mass and atmosphere are no longer there to keep them in their fluid state.
  9. Tune in to local radio stations for all the lastest news on how the world is affecting people in your area. After the event, you may need to re-scan your digital radio as electromagnetic inteference is expected.
  10. Dont forget to turn your roaming data off on your mobile phone. As it will be difficult to pinpoint your individual point in space and time your mobile phone company is inevitably likely to charge you based on its intergalactic tariff. Although they're not obliged to publish these, industry insiders say they are astronomical!

If you are reading this after 21st December 2012, congratulations!

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